First ultrasound

About three weeks ago, we saw our little one for the first time. The husband and I went in for our 12-week appointment and there he/she was.

As the ultrasound tech did her job, I asked about a heartbeat. “You’re a bit ahead of me,” she said. My husband told me to relax. “It will be OK,” he said. So I laid back and waited.

Here’s the thing about our story: Because it took the hubby and I much longer than we thought it would to get to this point, we actually had begun to explore adoption.
We scheduled an appointment with an agency and were ready to take the first steps. Two days before the meeting, I took a pregnancy test and it was positive. Still, I was frantic. Thoughts of miscarriage were constantly on my mind, and I couldn’t truly let myself get excited about having a baby until I felt like it was really going to happen. For me, that involved hearing (and seeing) the heartbeat.

So, as the ultrasound tech continued to look, I continued to pray. I noticed my hand shaking and tried to get it to stop. I thought to myself ‘If this doesn’t go well, hold it together. We can always try again.’ I tried to remain positive, but inside I was frightened. Dan tried to grab my hand. I gently pushed his away. If he held my hand, he’d see how bad I was shaking.

The tech didn’t give us any warning. She looked up as she turned on the sound on the monitor. And there it was. This is so cliche, but it literally was the most beautiful sound I’ve ever heard. The heartbeat was fast — 179 beats per minute. And it was perfect. I'll never forget that moment.